For the past two weeks I have been questioning my new healthy lifestyle resolutions. Am I doing something wrong? Surely I should be enjoying a smug sense of well-being/a clearer and more positive outlook on life/beautifully clear skin/all of the above. Over the last weekend I had yet another nasty cold which distracted me from my resolve to go swimming at the weekends. I had an unmistakable break out, which I think might have had something to do with having a cold, and noticeable mood swings which, for me, means sudden, but persistent, irrational irritation without obvious cause. It was in these moments of annoyance that I felt most sensitive to cravings. My brain was just begging for a serotonin hit. I am proud to say that I managed to remain strong and successfully avoided the sweet stuff…until Friday night when, at a friends leaving do, I treated myself to a burger with goats cheese and CARAMELIZED ONIONS along with some fries and a couple of fruity cocktails. I regret nothing. It was delicious. The next day I was expecting some sort of sugar hangover (having read a few blogs from other sugar quitters) but the worst I experienced was a constant twitching eyelid and that was not necessarily the sugar’s fault.
It might sound as though I’m disheartened and that I’m about ready to quit quitting sugar but the truth is, overall, I think there have been some subtle positive changes. My hair feels thicker, I am feeling more motivated and most importantly I am really enjoying testing my willpower and taking control of my lifestyle. I wake up over two hours before I need to arrive at placement so that I have time to eat a nutritious breakfast, prepare my own lunch and to walk to work. It’s not the most scenic route, for most of the journey I’m walking alongside steady traffic, but it’s a solid hour of gentle exercise in which I can contemplate my thoughts or listen to podcasts before beginning my working day. I’m also so lucky to have a talented and supportive boyfriend who has made it his mission to ensure that this is the standard I come home to everyday:
As cliche as it sounds, I am enjoying a new sense of freedom that comes with control and maybe I’m imagining it but maybe, slowly, my skin IS getting ever so slightly better?
So yeah, I’m going to stick at it for a bit longer. I’m toying with the new goal of six months but let’s see how it goes for the next three weeks.